A Man Walks Down The Street
He Says, "Why Am I Soft In The Middle, Now?"
Why Am I Soft In The Middle, Now?The Rest Of My Life Is So Hard
I Need A Photo-opportunity
I Want A Shot At Redemption
Don′t Want To End Up A Cartoon
In A Cartoon Graveyard

Bonedigger, Bonedigger
Dogs In The Moonlight
Far Away In My Well-lit Door
Mr. Beer-belly, Beer-belly
Get These Mutts Away From Me
You Know, I Don't Find This Stuff Amusing Anymore

If You′ll Be My Bodyguard
I Can Be Your Long-lost Pal
I Can Call You Betty
And Betty, When You Call Me, You Can Call Me Al

A Man Walks Down The Street
He Says, "Why Am I Short Of Attention?"
Got A Short Little Span Of Attention
And, Whoa, My Nights Are So Long
Where's My Wife And Family?
What If I Die Here?
Who'll Be My Role Model
Now That My Role Model Is Gone, Gone?

He Ducked Back Down The Alley
With Some Roly-poly Little Bat-faced Girl
All Along, Along
There Were Incidents And Accidents
There Were Hints And Allegations

If You′ll Be My Bodyguard
I Can Be Your Long-lost Pal
I Can Call You Betty
And Betty, When You Call Me, You Can Call Me Al

If You′ll Be My Bodyguard
I Can Be Your Long-lost Pal
I Can Call You Betty
And Betty, When You Call Me, You Can Call Me Al, You Can Call Me Al

You Can Call Me Al
You Can Call Me Al