Dum Diti Dum Dang Dang Di Dum

2 Bums In An Alley With A Bottle Of Rum

1 Bum Said Look Jack I'm The Shit

Put His Knees To His Ears And Sucked His Own Dick

My Mothers Crazy I Think She Sniffs Glue

She Never Liked Me And I Know That's True

Kicked Me Out The Crib Becuz I Got A Tattoo

No One Loves Me And No One Cares

And All I Ever Get Is Funny Stares

I Can't Help It If I'm Nothin But A Wino

So I Hang At The Zoo Chillin With The Rhinos

Stealin' Bottles Of Booze Outta A & P

I Know A Girl At Denny's And I Always Eat Free

Got The Same Birthdate As Thomas Crapper

For Christmas I Bought The Old Man The Clapper

I'm So Dapper U Can Call Me Dan

But They Call Me Round Eye When I'm Chilin In Japan

Got A Bad Ass Bitch Adn She Ain't No Dike

But Fuck That Ho And Let Me Tell Ya What I Like

I Like Bean Burritos From Taco Bell

I Like Trippin On Acid With Dick Vitale

My Hair Ain't Plastic And My Clothes Aren't Clashin'

I Write My Rhymes On A Schooner In A 90's Fashion

Took Too Many Many Trip And Now I Can's Stop Trippin

My Mellow D. Killed A Rat In The Kitchen

U Think U Toke Tuff I'd Disagree

Nobody Blows More Doobs Than Richard D.

I Get Ill On Hoes Who I Know Ain't Fertile

I'm A Real Jet Setter Like Cecil Turtle

I'm Down With Bill Bands So Fuck Joe Glover

And While I'm At It Muther Fuck Fat Ass Sally Struthers

U Look Fine Girl Kinda Undercover

But I Can't Fuck Ya Cuz You Look Like My Mother

I Said Dang Digee Dang Di Dang Dang

It Ain't Eric Estrada Or Kool And The Gang

U Know I Hand In The Clem Chillin On The Strip

With All Them Mother Fuckers Who Slang That Shit

U Know I'm A Pimp Hold My Dick Like A Holster

U Sing It "all The Girls Want A Kid Rock Poster"

Lifes A Big Joke And That's How It Strikes Me

But Fuck It Cuz I Know "Somebody Up There Likes Me."

Assholes Are Only Assholes, Fo Sho'