If You Wake Up In The Morning Mean And Grumpy
And You Frown At Ev'rybody That You See
If You Like Your Oatmeal Nice And Cold And Lumpy
Then You're A Grouch Like Me

If You Love It When It's Wet And Cold And Raining
And The Music That You Like Is All Off Key
If You're Happiest Whenever You're Complaining
Then You're A Grouch Like Me

If You Hate It When Your Grandma Kisses You
You Know What? Well Me, Too!
If You Love To See A Garbage Truck Roll By
You Know What? So Do I!
And If You Think A Great Big Pile Of Trash Is Pretty
And That Ice Cream Is Yucchy As Can Be
If You Can't Stand A Cuddly Little Kitty, Then You're A Grouch Like Me

If You Hate It When Your Grandma Kisses You
You Know What? Well Me, Too!
If You Love To See A Garbage Truck Roll By
You Know What? So Do I!
And If You Think A Great Big Pile Of Trash Is Pretty
And That Ice Cream Is Yucchy As Can Be
If You Can't Stand A Cuddly Little Kitty
And You'd Like To Chase Her Up The Nearest Tree
Then You Can Be Pretty Sure That You're A Grouch Like Me