Have You Ever Known A Free Lancer

Thinks That He's A Camper

Known Around My Way As The Cramper

Like P.M.S. Always Pokin'

But He Won't Go Away With A Little Motrin

Now If U Ever Heard The Term Cramper And U Wonder

The Worms Kinda Like I Guess A Modern Day Felix Unger

When Ya First Meet Em Ya Think He's O.K.

But Then You Learn A Little Bit Of The Cramper Goes A Long Way

Hear Say Here I Say Thru The Grapevine

He Squawks And He Gawks And He Walks A Thin Line

Just Like A Little F**kin Fag

He Always Wants To Get High But Never Has A Bag

Never Works Says He Can't Find The Right Job

Ain't Got A Dime And When He Does He's A Tightwad

He's The Dampest There's No One Damp

Huh Huh.... He's The Muther F**kin Cramper

Now The Crampers Red, There's No One Redder,

He Rides Ya Wrong Like A Really Tight Sweater

He's Sorta Like A Mouse A Pest Of A Peer

U Come Home He's At Your House Drinkin Your Last Beer

Pokin And Strokin He Makes You Wanna Belt Him

Always Wearin Out His Mother F**kin Welcome

And Then Sporty's Never That Cautious

He Sips From Your Forty And He Always Backwashes

Talk About A Certain Subject, He'll Jinx It

Let Him Borrow A Shirt, The Stooge Always Shrinks It

He's The Dampest, There's No One Damper

Huh Huh.... He's The Mother F**kin Cramper