"And Now A Buffoon's Meeting With The Dean Of Admissions At A Prestigious College."



[Dean:] "Well Michael, I Would Like To Extend My Warmest Congradulations

On Your Upcoming Graduation And I Understand

You Are Interested In Matriculating Here In The Fall."



[Buffoon:] "I Got A Snake, Man!"



[Dean:] "Yes, Pets Are Welcome Here On Campus.

Be It The Traditional Dog, Or Cat, Or Even The Occasional Reptile."



[Buffoon:] "One Time I Fed It Some Beer Man! It Was Slithering This Way And That!

It Was All Fucked Up!"



[Dean:] "I'm Sure It Was.

Well We Discourage Inappropriate Drinking Among Both Students

And Pets Here On Campus."



[Buffoon:] "Fuckin' Shit!"



[Dean:] "Yes, That's A Not Uncommon Reaction To This Policy.

So Tell Me A Little Bit More About Your Background."



[Buffoon:] "My Father's A Fucking Asshole, Man!"



[Dean:] "Hmm, I See. Your Feelings Of Rebelion Are Not Unusual At Your Age Son."



[Buffoon:] "My Mother's A Piece Of Shit Too!"



[Dean:] "Well, I Hope You Can Find An Outlet For Your Hostility

Over The Summer So You Can Come To School In The Fall Relaxed

And Ready To Learn."



[Buffoon:] "My Teacher In High School Was A Stupid Bitch, Man!

She Had Her Head Way Up Her Ass!"



[Dean:] "Well The Quality Of The Faculty At A University

Such As Ours Far Exceeds That Of A Local Public High School."



[Buffoon:] "Your Secretary's A Real Fat Bitch, Man!"



[Dean:] "Yes, She's Tried Many Diets Over The Years With Minimal Success."



[Buffoon:] "I Had Diarhea Last Month. I Had To Shit All Fucking Day!"



[Dean:] "Uh Huh, Well We All Get The Occasional Stomach Bug,

Never A Pleasurable Experience.

So Have You Given Any Thought To Your Choice Of