(Harry)

A Man Should Call The Toss

Wear The Pants And Be The Boss

A Man Should Be The Drake For His Own Damn Sake

And Men Should Be The Misters

And The Masters Of Their Sisters

A Man Should Be The Reason For A Heart To Break



A Man Should Cut The Lawn

Change A Tire, Mend The Worn

A Man Should Never Wait To Oil A Rusting Gate

Men Should Hold The Key Positions

In Our Country's Great Traditions

A Man Should Put The Food Upon The Family Plate



(Marines)

So, Be Moral, Don't Quarrel

Fair And Square Is Best



(Ladies)

Let Me Alert You That Virtue

Won't Hurt You Or Desert You



(Rednecks)

If You Wear Hair On Your Chest



(Chorus)

So Always Remember To Follow The Rules



(Marines)

Box Clever



(Rednecks)

And Jocks Never



(Harry)

Hock Another Jock's Tools!



A Man Should Wax A Car

Fix A Fuse, And Tend The Bar

A Man Should Like His Brow To Be Wet With Sweat

Men Should Know The Right Occasions

To Indulge In Tax Evasions

A Man Should Know The Settings

That His Spark Plugs Get



Faggots Are Maggots

Thank God I'm A Man