I Cried The Day My Grandfather No Longer Knew My Face
I Wept By The Window When He Died
And When My Mother Called Long DistanceTo Say Her Mother Passed Away
I Blubbered On The Bus, I Couldn′t Hide
I've Cried Out Many Broken Hearts
I′ve Sobbed In Countless Drinks
Over Girls With Faces I Barely Now Recall
I Bawled In A Ball On The Kitchen Floor
When Living Was Too Much
Pick A Room, I've Wept In Them All

But I Can't Tell You Why
Tonight My Eyеs Are Dry

I Always Cry At Musicals
When Loving Dreams Arе Sung
I′ve Stained Many Books, Their Stories False And True
I Cry At Rom-coms, Dramedies
The News And Children′s Films
The Muppet Movie, Frozen, Frozen 2

But I Can't Tell You Why
Tonight My Eyes Are Dry

What Would You Call The Opposite Of A Comedian?
Whatever It Is, That′s What I Wanted To Be
I Dreamed Of Touring The Country
Playing Small Gigs In Intimate Venues
Sitting On Stage In A Leather Wingback Armchair
And Telling Tales Of Woe
The Audience Would Join Me In A Long Collective Cry
We Would All Weep Together As One
I Even Planned The Merchandise
A Hundred Percent Cotton Souvenir Handkerchiefs
Embroidered With Tour Dates
Available In The Foyer After The Show

I'm Waiting For The Waterworks To Come
But I Don′t Feel A Thing, I'm Just Exhausted And Numb
I Need Some Release, I Need To Make It All Real
A Lacrimal Niagara, A Dramatic Reveall