Very Much Vodka And Too Much Tequila: Those Are The Ways I Learned To Deal. Across Against The Light And The Sleet Scalds My Sight, Stunned I Stayed Put And A Billboard Truck Runs Over My Foot. So Things Are Really Hopping; And My Unemployment's Stopping; And My Kitty Cat's Copping; And I Need To Forget. So I Go To The Window And Smell A Cigarette.

Now I'm In The Clutches Of My Crutches: I'm Laid Up, And I Sip From My Cup, And I Look Outside. And I See Christopher Hyde-who Just Got Divorced, And There's A Restraining Order Enforced-going In His Ex-wife's Garage. I'm Just Drunk Enough To Open The Window, Yell Out Gruff:

“Don't You Key That Brand-new Camry.” And He Gave Me The Cursor, “Damn,” Returning To The Spot He Was, “Mind Your Own Business You!” And I Wag My Finger, “You're Not Doing What You're Supposed To Do.”

And Then He's Coming Toward Me, And I Took A Swig Of My Tequila 'cause It Made Me Feel A Little Nervous As He Started Across Against The Light: But He Didn't Look To His Right As He Didn't Stay Put. And A Billboard Truck Came And Ran Over His Foot.

And The Cops Responding Called Out To Me, “Hey Is This Your Cat?” “Yeah, But Sometimes It Forgets. Ah, Wait A Minute. I Gonna Come Out There And Smell A Couple A Cigarettes.”

Don't You Hurry-worry With Me…