I Ran Into My Pastor At A Gay Bar
Let Me Tell You, He Looked So Bizarre
In Fishnets Instead Of A Suit
I Ran Into My Dad′s Girlfriend Named Pam
At A Strip Club With Fives Jammed
In Every Place You Can Imagine

All These Things Keep Happening To Me
And Every Time It's All So Confusing
I Just Want To Be Left Alone
Please Don′t Make Me Leave My Home

Small Towns Don't Forgive

I Ran Into My Grandma At A Sex Store
I Always Thought She Was Such A Bore
No Wonder She's Always So Tired

I Ran Into An Old One Night Stand
Asked If I Had Any Big Plans
I′m Whipping And Gagging Your Mom

All These Things Keep Happening To Me
And Every Time It′s All So Confusing
I Just Want To Be Left Alone
Please Don't Make Me Leave My Home

Small Towns Don′t Forgive