Once A Year My Friend Puts On A Red Suit

And Hangs Around With Me And My Wife

Now I Can't Help But Feeling Jealous Each Time She Climbs On His Knee

And She Stands Beneath The Mistletoe Screaming

For Him To Stand Beneath The Mistletoe Screaming

Now I Can't Help But Feeling Jealous Each Time She Climbs On His Knee

Why Must She Climb On His Knee?



I Saw My Baby Wearing Santa's Beard

She Kissed Him Once And Whispered In His Ear

I Saw My Baby Wearing Santa's Beard

I Wish He Would Go

He's Breaking Up My Home



She Always Had This Twisted Side To Her*

But She'd Never Drag My Name Around Town

But Lately She's Been Humming Cheating Songs

And I Don't Like That Fat Guy Around

No, I Don't Like That Fat Guy Around



I Saw My Baby Wearing Santa's Beard

She Kissed Him Once And Whispered In His Ear

I Saw My Baby Wearing Santa's Beard

I Wish He Would Go

He's Breaking Up My Home



I Saw My Baby Wearing Santa's Beard

Thrilling Christmas, Trembling Fear

I Saw My Baby Wearing Santa's Beard

I Wish He Would Go

He's Breaking Up My Home