It Was The Biggest Ever Cock You'd Ever Seen, But You've No Idea Where That Cock Has Been.
You Said You Were Careful - You Never Were With Me.
I Heard You Did It Four Times And Jonnies Come In Packs Of Three.

She Was The Best Shag I'd Ever Had.
That Doesn't Mean I'm Saying, Bedwise, You Were Bad.
I Think You Were Working, We Got A Hotel.
We Didn't Have Anything But I Thought I Might As Well.

I Never Told The Rest.
I Was Drunk And I Told You I Was Thinking About A Test.
You Know I Just Said It For Effect.
Then You Laughed And Said I'd Fuck Anything In A Skirt Once I'm Erect.

And She's A Famous Harlot In This Town.
I Know Enough To, But Still I Couldn't Turn Her Down.
He Said I'm An Arsehole, What Was I Thinking?
It's Far Too Easy To Blame It On The Drinking.