Now I've Got A Cousin Called Kevin

He's Sure To Go To Heaven

Always Spotless Clean And Neat

The Smoothest You Can Get Them

He's Got A Fur Lined Sheepskin Jacket

My Ma Said They Cost A Packet

She Won't Even Let Me Explain

That Me And Kevin Were Just Not The Same



Oh My Perfect Cousin

What I Like To Do He Doesn't

He's His Family's Private Joy

His Mothers Little Golden Boy



He's Gotta A Grade In Economics

Maths - Physics And Bionics

He Thinks That I'm A Cabbage

Cos I Hate University Challenge

Even At The Age Of Ten

Smart Boy Kevin Was A Smart Boy Then

He Always Beat Me At Subbuteo

Cos He Flicked The Kick

And I Didn't Know



Oh My Perfect Cousin ..



His Mother Bought Him A Synthesizer

Got The Human League Into Advise Her

Now He's Making Lots Of Noise

Playing Along With The Art School Boys

Girls Try To Attract His Attention

But What A Shame It's In Vain Total Rejection

He Will Never Be Left On The Shelf

Cos Kevin He's In Love With Himself



Oh My Perfect Cousin