I Heard There Is No Christmas In The Silly Middle East

No Trees, No Snow, No Santa Clause, They Have Different Religious Beliefs

They Believe In Muhammad And Not In Our Holiday

And So Every December I Got To The Middle East And Say



Hey There Mr. Muslim, Merry F**king Christmas

Put Down That Book The Koran, And Here's Some Holiday Wishes

In Case You Haven't Noticed, It's Jesus' Birthday

So Get Off Your Heathen Muslim Ass And F**king Celebrate



There Is No Holiday Season In India I've Heard

They Don't Hang Up Their Stockings And That Is Just Absurd

They've Never Read A Christmas Story, They Don't Know What Rudolph Is About

And That Is Why In December I'll Go To India And Shout



Hey There Mr. Hinduist, Merry F**king Christmas

Drink Egg Nog And Eat Some Beef And Pass It To The Missus

In Case You Haven't Noticed Its Jesus' Birthday

So Get Of Your Heathen Hindu Ass And F**king Celebrate



Now I Heard That In Japan Everyone Just Lives In Sin

They Pray To Several Gods And Put Needles In Their Skin

On December 25th All They Do Is Eat A Cake

And That Is Why I Go To Japan And Walk Around And Say



Hey There Mr. Shintoist, Merry F**king Christmas

God Is Gonna Kick Your Ass You Infidelic Pagan Scum

In Case You Haven't Noticed, There's Festive Things To Do

So Let's All Rejoice For Jesus And Merry F**king Christmas To You



On Christmas Day

I Travel Around The World And Say

Down With Krishnas, Buddists And All You Atheists Too

Merry F**king Christmas To You



Thank You Mr. Hat