-Riff-

Dear Kindly Seargant Krupke

Ya Gotta Understand

It's Just Our Bringin' Up-ke

That Gets Us Outta Hand

Our Mothers All're Junkies

Our Fathers All're Drunks

Golly Moses, Naturally We're Punks



-All-

Gee, Officer Krupke

We're Very Upset

We Never Had The Love That Every Child Oughta Get

We Ain't No Delinquents

We're Misunderstood

Deep Down Inside Us There Is Good



-Riff-

There Is Good!



-All-

There Is Good

There Is Good

There Is Untapped Good

Like Inside The Worst Of Us Is Good



-"Krupke"-

That's A Touchin', Good Story!



-Riff-

Lemme Tell It To The World!



-"Krupke"-

Just Tell It To Da Judge!



-Riff-

Dear Kindly Judge Your Honor,

My Parents Treat Me Rough

With All The Marijuana,

They Won't Give Me A Puff!

They Didn't Wanna Have Me,

But Somehow I Was Had

Leapin' Lizards, That's Why I'm So Bad!



-Judge-

Right! Officer Krupke, You're Really A Square!

This Boy Don't Need A Judge

He Needs An Analyst Scare!

It's Just His Neurosis

That Oughta Be Curbed

He's Psychologically DISTURBED!



-Riff-

I'm Disturbed!



-All-

We're Disturbed

We're Disturbed

We're The Most Disturbed

Like We're Psychologically Disturbed!



-Judge-

Hear Ye, Hear Ye

In The Opinion Of This Court,

This Child Is Depraved

On Account He Ain't Had A Normal Home.



-Riff-

Hey, I'm Depraved On Account I'm DEPRIVED!



-Judge-

*Hits Riff*

So Take Him To A Head Shrinker

You!



-Action-

Who, Me?



-Riff-

My Daddy Beats My Mommy

My Mommy Clobbers Me

My Grandpa Is A Commie

My Grandma Pushes Tea

My Sister Wears A Mustache

My Brother Wears A Dress

Goodness Gracious, That's Why I'm A Mess!



-Head Shrin