[Maurice:] Help! Someone Help Me!
[Tavern Keeper:] Maurice?
[Maurice:] Please! Please, I Need Your Help. He's Got Her - He's
Got Her Locked In The Dungeon!
[LeFou:] Who?
[Maurice:] Belle. We Must Go. N-not A Minute To Lose!
[Gaston:] Whoa! Slow Down, Maurice. Who's Got Belle Locked In A
Dungeon?
[Maurice:] A Beast! A Horrible, Monstrous Beast!
[Patron I:] Is It A Big Beast?
[Maurice:] Huge!
[Patron II:] With A Long, Ugly Snout?
[Maurice:] Hideously Ugly!
[Drinker III:] And Sharp, Cruel Fangs?
[Maurice:] Yes! Yes! Will You Help Me?
[Gaston:] All Right, Old Man. We'll Help You Out.
[Maurice:] You Will? Oh, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!
[Tavern Keeper:] Crazy Old Maurice.
[Patron I:] He's Always Good For A Laugh.
[Gaston:] Crazy Old Maurice, Hmmm?
Crazy Old Maurice. Hmmm.

LeFou, I'm Afraid I've Been Thinking
[Lefou:] A Dangerous Pastime
[Gaston:] I Know
But That Whacky Old Coot Is Belle's Father
And His Sanity's Only "so-so"
Now The Wheels In My Head Have Been Turning
Since I Looked At That Loony, Old Man
See, I've Promised Myself I'd Be Married To Belle
And Right Now I'm Evolving A Plan

If I . . . {whisper}
[LeFou:] Yes?
[Gaston:] Then We . . . {whisper}
[LeFou:] No! Would She . . .
[Gaston:] {whisper} Guess!
[LeFou:] Now I Get It!
[Both:] Let's Go!

No One Plots Like Gaston
[Gaston:] Takes Cheap Shots Like Gaston
[LeFou:] Plans To Persecute Harmless Crackpots Like Gaston
[Chorus:] So His Marriage We Soon'll Be Celebrating
My What A Guy!
Gaston