I Still Haven't Found A Girlfriend,

Though I've Tried A Lot.

So, Can You Help Me Please,

It's Tougher Than I Thought.



The Odds Are Pretty Good,

But The Goods Are Pretty Odd.

Though At This Point,

I'll Take Anything You've Got.



I See This All The Time,

Nice Girls In Love With Jerks,

What Could They Be Thinking?

Tell Me How It Works.



If I Got Some Problems,

Well I Wouldn't Be The First.

But The Ones I Have In Mind Are Even Worse.



And Even Hitler Had A Girlfriend,

Who He Could Always Call,

That Would Always Be There For Him

In Spite Of All His Faults

He Was The Worst Guy Ever.

Reviled And Despised,

Even Hitler Had A Girlfriend

So Why Can't I?

Why Can't I?



Life Is Full Of Contradictions

Hard To Understand

And For Every Happy Woman,

There's A Lonely Man



Nixon Had His Puppy.

Charles Manson Had His Clan

God Forbid That I Get A Girlfriend.



Even Hitler Had A Girlfriend

Who He Could Call His Own,

To Sweeten Days Of Bitterness,

And Feeling All Alone



I'm Not As Bad As Hitler,

But That Doesn't Mean A Thing,

Since They'd Rather Be With Hitler, More Than Me

I Don't See, Why They'd Rather Be With Hitler,

More Than Me.