I've Been To Hell. I Spell It...I Spell It DMV
Anyone That's Been There Knows Precisely What I Mean
Stood There And I've Waited And Choked Back The Urge To Scream
And If I Had My Druthers I'd Screw A Chimpanzee-call It Pointless

When I Need Relief I Spell It THC
Perhpas You May Know Vaguely What I Mean
I Sit Back And Smoke Away Huge Chunks Of Memory
As I Slowly Inflict Upon Myself A Full Lobotomy-call It Pointless

Barbecues, Tea Kettles, Gobs Of Axle Grease
There Comes A Time For Every Man To Sail The Seas Of Cheese
Now, Life's A Bowl Of Bagel Dogs, But There Are Unpleasantries
Cold Toilet Seats, Dentist Chairs And Trips To DMV-call It Pointless

I've Been To Hell. I Spell It...I Spell It DMV
Anyone That's Been There Knows Precisely What I Mean
I've Stood In Line And Waited Near An Hour And Fifteen
And If I Had My Druthers I'd Screw That Chimpanzee-call It Pointless