One Time I Met This Girl,
I Talked To Her Online One Night,
I Asked Her If She Was Alright,
Didn't Say Who I Was,
Now I'm Fucked Over Because,

You Bastards,
Telling Her Who I Am,
You Bastards,
You Could All Go To Fucking Iran,
I Can't Deal With Her Anymore,
She's Acting Like A Whore

Say It Ain't So,
She's A Real Hoe,
She Called Me Last Night,
About A Quarter To 8,
I Said, Why You Calling So Late?
She Said, I Heard What You Said
I Hope You End Up Dead
And All I Wanted Was Some Head!

You Bastards,
Telling Her Who I Am,
You Bastards,
You Could All Go To Fucking Iran,
I Can't Deal With This Yet,
This Girl's Making Me Wanna Forget.

Even Though She's Really Hot,
Mentally Stable Is What She's Not,
She's Got Something Wrong In Her Head,
Telling Me I Should End Up Dead

You Bastards,
Telling Her Who I Am,
You Bastards,
You Could All Go To Fucking Iran,
I Can't Deal With This Ever,
Leave Me Alone Forever.

TOM: YOU BASTARDS
MARK: YOU MASTURBATORS
TRAVIS: WHAT THE FUCK?
TOM: HOW'D YOU GET A MIC TRAVIS?
TRAVIS: I'M A ROCK STAR NOW, I ROLL WITH THE TRANSPLANTS
MARK: WHO? FUCK THEM, TIME FOR A SONG
TRAVIS: RIGHT ON
TOM & MARK: SHUT UP BASTARD