Well I Thought About The Army,

Dad Said, Son You're Fuckin High.

And I Thought, Yeah There's A First For Everything,

So I Took My Old Man's Advice.

Three Sad Semesters,

It Was Only Fifteen Grand.

Spent In Bed I Thought About The Army,

I Dropped Out And Joined A Band Instead.



Grew A Moustache And A Mullet,

Got A Job At Chic-fil-a.

Citing Artistic Differences The Band Broke Up In May,

And In June Reformed Without Me, And They Got A Different Name.

I Nuked Another Grandma's Apple Pie

And Hung My Head In Shame.



Been Thinking A Lot Today.

Been Thinking A Lot Today.



Ohhhh, I Think I'll Write A Screenplay.

Ohhhh, I Think I'll Take It To LA.

Ohhhh, I Think I'll Get It Done Yesterday (aww Shit).



In This Time Of Introspection.

On The Eve Of My Election,

I Say To My Reflection

God, Please Spare Me More Rejection.

Cause My Peers They Criticize Me,

And My Ex-wives All Despise Me.

Try To Put It All Behind Me,

But My Redneck Past Is Nipping At My Heels



I've Been Thinking A Lot Today.

I've Been Thinking A Lot Today.

I've Been Thinking A Lot Today.

I Thought About The Army...